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Finding Inspiration in Recovery

I remember sitting through my first AA meeting like it was yesterday. The first person to share was a seventy something year old man who announced that he was a “grateful recovering alcoholic.” He went on to explain that he had been sober for over twenty years and runs six miles a day. I thought to myself… these people make me sick.

As our disease progresses we find new and creative ways to maintain our active addiction. Our internal self-talk finds a way to rationalize why our using is “normal” and why we aren’t dependent on our drug of choice. By doing this over a period of time we become internally conflicted with believing and therefore behaving in a way that do not align with our morals and values. This process is difficult because we start losing ourselves to our addiction. Our goals, dreams and ultimately our identity is slowly taken from us and replaced with a substance. Most people with a drug and/or alcohol dependency can identify with this process and often have a hard time articulating how this process has taken over their lives.

When someone stops using and gets sober finding inspiration and gratitude can be challenging. The act of getting sober is scary and for many a last resort. Our behavior and thought process has revolved around our using. The motivation behind what we do, say and feel supports our addiction and continued use.

In my experience waking up in a detox unit after a five year bender was not particularly inspiring. To be honest my disease continued to rationalize why I was not like all the others who had a “real drinking problem”. This thought process took time and patience. It involved accepting the help and guidance of others. Initially I found inspiration while in treatment, from my peers, my counselors, mentors and books. I had to trust the process and I still do.

So what helped me find inspiration in recovery? Below is a list of suggestions and techniques etc. that helped me find and maintain sobriety.

  1. Create a gratitude list
  • Put a notepad next to your bed. If you are a morning person write a list of things you are grateful for; if you are a night person then write your list before you go to bed. If you are an over achiever do it both in the AM and PM. If you have a hard time knowing where to begin try making a gratitude list using the alphabet to provide as a guide. (Example: A is for AA Meetings, B is for Books, C is for my sister Chelsea and so on).
  1. Take in your five senses.
  • Go somewhere quiet, if it helps close your eyes. And think what do I currently see, feel, hear, taste and smell.
  • It is easy to move through your day on autopilot. It is healthy to bring yourself back to the present moment and feel grounded.
  1. Remember – One Day at A Time
  • In early recovery this saying got me through tough times. Often I would even break this down further and tell myself “one hour at a time.”Before I knew it my one hours were turning into days, my days into weeks, and weeks into month and so on. It made time doable and helped me accomplish small goals.
  1. Get out into nature.
  • This is very personal to me and I could probably write a book about it. However, finding the beauty in nature has enhanced the quality of my life…period. I remember talking to a very good friend and mentor who is also in recovery. At the time I was feeling stuck, it was winter and my attitude needed adjustment. I remember my friend saying “Don’t you enjoy skiing? When you are riding up the chair lift take a moment to really take in the beauty of the outdoors.” I have always remembered this advice. It is simple but has dramatically impacted my outlook. This would be a good time to take in your five senses.
  1. Appreciate the small/simple things.
  • It is easy to take life for granted. One of my favorite quotes “That breath you just took… it’s a gift” by Rob Bell really summarizes what I mean by appreciating the small and simple things.
  • Another favorite memory I have that exemplifies this was a time when I was facilitating a group at a residential treatment facility. One young women in particular shared that she was grateful to see the sun for the first time sober in 10 years. This forever will be a perfect example of what I mean by finding gratitude.

Today, I am a little more than six and a half years sober. I am now the person who attends meetings and introduces myself, “Hi I am Kristin and I am a grateful recovering alcoholic.”

Kristin Reinink

Recovery Allies of West Michigan – Director of Resource Relationships

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What is a Recovery Residence?

Recovery residences are a safe place to reside while learning to live a life free of drugs and alcohol. In early recovery housing is critical. A recovery residence offers rules, structure, accountability, and support.

Today I proudly claim to be a person in long-term recovery. It took me a very long time to be able to earn this title, as I was what may be called a “chronic relapser”. I went to treatment 18 times, only to use within the first 24 hours of discharge after each of those trips. Except for the last.

During my last trip to rehab it was suggested that I move on to a recovery house upon discharge. I had all kinds of excuses not to go. “I have a safe place to go with non-using family members”. “I just did 101 days in treatment, why the heck would I need more?” “I don’t want to live with a bunch of other women whom I don’t know”. All excuses to simply NOT do what was being suggested of me.

I was a person who could thrive in treatment. Tell me when to eat, when to sleep, what group to go to, what topic to talk about and I was set. I had become “institutionalized”. I could talk the talk but could not walk the walk. I did not know how to live in the outside world.

A recovery residence gave me the tools I needed to learn to become a responsible, productive member of society. I obtained employment. I learned to cook. I had family like support from my “sisters” in recovery at the house. I did daily house chores. I regularly attended parenting time with my daughters. I learned patience of myself and others. I attended recovery support groups regularly.

All things I still do today. Today I am the Director of Outreach and Women’s Housing manager for a group of recovery residences in the Grand Rapids, MI area. I cook dinner for my family most nights of the week, in our home. I have family like support from my “sisters” in recovery. I have regained full custody of my youngest daughter. I spend regular time with my oldest daughter whom was adopted by a family member. I still practice patience. I still regularly attend and serve for recovery support groups. These are but a few of the many blessings I have gained from living in a recovery residence.

Bill Wilson, co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous once said, “You can’t think your way into right action, but you can act your way into right thinking.” This quote guided me into taking the simple suggestion of moving into a recovery residence. A suggestion that may be one of the most pivotal moves in my recovery.

Recovery residences offer people a safe place to start and sustain recovery. The rules, structure, accountability, and support help guide people, like me, into long term recovery by not just thinking about right living; by living their way into right thinking.

Brooke Bouwman

Recovery Allies

Safe Passages Program Recovery Coach

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Do Not Gamble With Your Recovery

 

Every week I am contacted by people dealing with problems created by their gambling. Most of them have lost everything and are trying to figure out what happened to their lives. All are in deep financial trouble and many are facing criminal charges. Some are contemplating suicide. Compulsive gambling has the highest suicide rate of all addictions. There are two reasons which allow the gambler to get so lost in his addiction. First, compulsive gambling is known as the hidden addiction. There are no outward manifestations. There is no odor, no staggering, no slurred speech. People do not realize a problem is starting to consume a loved one or a friend until it is too late. Second, as long as the gambler has a token, the gambler has hope. The gambler will only seek help when all the money is gone.
A large number of gamblers have one other thing in common; they are in recovery from substance use disorder. Many in this group have been sober and in a mutual aid support group for many years. The last two people who contacted me both had an active gambling addiction, one with eight and the other with fifteen years of recovery
from a substance addiction. Gambling is an insidious addiction. A person predisposed to develop a gambling
problem may spend years gambling socially and suffering minimal ill effects. But that person will eventually cross the line into a full blown addiction. The chains of addiction are too weak to be felt until they are too strong to be broken. The devastation we gamblers leave in our wake can take a lifetime to recover from. Relationships
are often fatally destroyed because of the betrayal of trust by the compulsive gambler.

Studies have shown that between 12% and 20% of substance users in inpatient rehab programs also have a co-occurring gambling problem. We should start treating this group immediately. This can be accomplished by implementing an aftercare program to specifically offer treatment for a gambling problem. I conducted a survey of substance use patients at Brighton Hospital in Brighton, Michigan. I screened 8,000 substance users, primarily person with alcohol addiction, for a gambling problem. Sixteen percent of the patients screened identified as
having a problem. What was more interesting was that the majority of the remaining eighty-four percent did not gamble at all. The reason for this turned out to be quite simple. The addiction that brought them into the hospital was working just fine. They did not need another addiction at that time. Unfortunately it is this group
that, after treatment for substance use, will trade their substance use addiction for a gambling addiction. They leave their alcoholism or drug use at the hospital and walk down the street and find a new addiction to replace it.
This is a large group of people who are predisposed to problem gambling and, at the same time, the most economical and easy to treat. All we have to do is educate them about the dangers of gambling, just as we currently educate person with addictionabout the dangers of other substances. The theme should be addiction is addiction
is addiction. Education should lead to well informed and appropriate choices for the person in recovery. Another area that holds great promise is educating people in recovery in the twelve step programs and all other mutual aid groups. There is a need to start discussions relating to gambling and other process addictions. Members need to be warned of the devastation that gambling can cause a person inrecovery. I am deeply saddened by the hundreds
of gamblers coming out of twelve step programs who have lost most of what they had gained back while in that program because of a lack of knowledge about gambling addiction. The message is simple. If you are in recovery, do not gamble. If you need help for a gambling problem, contact me at burkemichaelj@yahoo.com.

-Michael Burke